An astounding 80% of individuals struggle to differentiate between the rush of being in love and the essence of true love itself.
We all grew up watching Hollywood movies with amazing love stories, soulmates, and desperate lovers. Our parents read love novels where everyone has a perfect match. The person made it for us.
‘The One’.
Yeah. And what’s wrong with that?
Not much. But I may assume one of the reasons so many marriages fall apart nowadays is hidden in the contents we are surrounded with.
No way. You can’t say something like that. The whole world functions that way. You feel in love forever or you choose the wrong partner. Your soulmate will never devour butterflies in your stomach.
See, there is a problem.
The Myth of The Soulmate
The term soulmate comes from Greek mythology.
Once upon there was a being that had two faces, four legs, four arms, and both sexual organs.
The being was called Androgynous (andro—man / gyne—woman). They became powerful and that made the Greek gods anxious.
So, Zeus separated Androgynous into two parts. From then on, they were looking for each other.
In the 19th century, romantic novels were written. Novels about noble knights and their princesses. They spread across Europe quickly.
And until today, modern love is all about falling in love. The amazing feeling will last forever.
The Honeymoon Illusion
Romantic movies, novels, and stories are like Instagram. You consume it and expect life/love to look like that.
And it’s not exclusively Hollywood's fault. It’s yours. You should be able to distinguish reality from an imaginary plot.
People who can’t do that are doomed to fail in love. After falling in love.
Every time they are in love, they think this time it will last. It won’t disappear. And when you find ‘The One', the feeling will never stop.
Stop.
Guess what? Falling in love is a selfish act.
You are in love with the person just as long as it provides you with the feeling. A honeymoon phase.
If you don’t trust me, trust science. It says the honeymoon phase lasts approximately 3 years. After that period, substances in our bodies change.
Expecting to find their ‘soulmate’, ‘romantic love’, ‘one’, most people eventually marry someone.
Finding out it was not their romantic love, they become disappointed in their partner. Thinking they made a mistake. It’s not the model they were expecting.
The term ‘true love’ is reserved for people of the USA and Europe.
The Reality of Love’s Longevity
We can’t deny the fact that some partners are just not compatible.
Some have personality issues, some have a bad history, and some are just not 1% compatible. But a lot of times it’s the ‘romantic love’ issue.
Failing to keep the honeymoon phase, people think they chose the wrong person. Even if the person has everything it takes to be a good one.
And youngsters watching their parents argue from time to time about everyday life problems form the opinion that marriage today is something opposite to what it was earlier.
What they are used to watching and reading about.
But it was always the same. Love was never a novel. Love is not the same as being in love. Love is overcoming obstacles, making compromises, and showing respect.
“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.”
-Carl Gustav Jung
Find a personality that suits you. Find someone who has the same idea about life and love and who looks in the same direction as you.
And you will live happily forever.
P.S.
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